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Subconscious Messages? - Qualified Perceptions
Subconscious Messages?
Look, I'm back from California, and already I'm back ensconced in my comfortable little nest on the couch with my laptop and a cup of coffee (which I totally need, having gotten no sleep on the flight. So this entry might be a little incoherent.)

The other night, I had an odd dream. It was sort of in character in Comet, that is, I'm pretty sure I was Dunyazade, but I was in a fancy modern mansion, which I think was my house. It was a party, I was shmoozing with a bunch of "important" people who were shallow and unpleasant and I didn't much like, but I was glittery and smiling and cheery. I had a drink in my hand - I got the feeling that I always had a drink in my hand, that it was part of my persona - and it was my task for the night to talk to all these unpleasant shallow people, and convince them to give me the things I needed. It was like a Hollywood cocktail party, as portrayed by bitter theater. And I clearly remember the mood of the dream: this is my life now. This is all I will ever be, until I die. It was a strange, resigned and tired feeling for a dream. (There was also a cameo appearance by tirinian in the dream, and he also had a drink in his hand, which he explained was some of the aged Bailey's that he kept in the basement by the furnace, where it would always be stored at a temperature above 80 degrees. At the time in the dream, this seems to have been a sensible thing to do, though now that I'm awake, I think storing a cream-based beverage at warm temperatures for years is not as good an idea...).

Anyway, when I woke up, it was a bit puzzling. The whole "is this all there is?" angst is something that I have pretty much avoided. Yes, this is all there is, I don't expect my life to suddenly get more exciting or more meaningful - but I'm happy with it. This is not my midlife crisis, and I think I have again been scheduled for the wrong sort of anxiety dream.

Of course, I can see why the Dream Powers That Be thought I needed this one. I've been looking after nieces for a week, and they're sentient enough to be interesting, and small enough to be cute and cuddly and of a size to be turned upside down, and generally utterly adorable. This is exactly when I should be thinking "I am missing out on the whole having kids thing!" and realizing that my biological clock is overdue, and so on. But... no. It's not that I don't appreciate what I'm missing. I do. (Well, at the moment, it's hard to imagine that any hypothetical kids I might have would be cuter than Amelia and Isabelle, but I think that's how it's supposed to work). There's more to do than can ever be done, and if this isn't one of the things I do, that's okay. Anyway... not my midlife crisis, but I am glad I have nieces. :)

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative

5 comments or Leave a comment
kirisutogomen From: kirisutogomen Date: March 2nd, 2008 04:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think the fact that you were Dunyazade is the tag that indicates "this dream is for someone else".
From: tirinian Date: March 2nd, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Speaking of weird comet-y dreams - If we ever do the Conflux/Comet CrossOver Run, Dunyazade's duplicates do *not* get to clutter up Family Net. :-)
firstfrost From: firstfrost Date: March 2nd, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
(Hey, I should totally bring my duplicates next time I go after the Astronomer. Then I'd get to shoot him three times before he flees!)
mjperson From: mjperson Date: March 2nd, 2008 09:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
i put you in charge of building the Conflux characters in the Comet system as a proof of concept for your crossover run.
From: tirinian Date: March 3rd, 2008 04:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Dude, they're totally the same system already. :-) Skill and dice and successes, what more do you need to know?

I suppose you'd have to coordinate the speed system somehow. And the comet characters would be terrified the first time Bri shot them 9 times in the Int. :-)
5 comments or Leave a comment